Ephesians 4:32 contains one of the most practical yet profound commands in all of Scripture: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” These simple words hold the power to transform marriages, heal broken friendships, restore families, and build thriving Christian communities. They reveal God’s heart for relationships and provide the blueprint for Christ-like love in action.
In a world marked by division, bitterness, cancel culture, and relational brokenness, Ephesians 4:32 offers a radically different way—the way of kindness, compassion, and forgiveness modeled after Christ. Whether you’re struggling to forgive someone who hurt you, seeking to heal damaged relationships, or desiring to reflect Christ’s love more fully, this verse will revolutionize how you treat others.
What Does Ephesians 4:32 Say? (Scripture & Context)
The Complete Text of Ephesians 4:32
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
— Ephesians 4:32 (NIV)
Alternate Translation (ESV):
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
This verse concludes Paul’s instructions on putting off the old self and putting on the new self. It provides three specific commands—kindness, compassion, and forgiveness—all grounded in the ultimate example: God’s forgiveness of us through Christ.
The Context: Putting Off the Old Self, Putting On the New (Ephesians 4:17-32)
Ephesians 4:32 sits within a larger section where Paul contrasts the old life (before Christ) with the new life (in Christ).
Ephesians 4:17-19 – The Old Life of the Gentiles
Paul describes the unregenerate life: futile thinking, darkened understanding, separated from God, given over to sensuality and impurity.
Ephesians 4:20-24 – The New Life in Christ
“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self… and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness” (v. 22-24).
Ephesians 4:25-32 – Practical Commands for the New Life
Paul provides specific, actionable instructions:
- v. 25 – Put off falsehood; speak truthfully.
- v. 26-27 – Be angry but do not sin; don’t give the devil a foothold.
- v. 28 – Stop stealing; work and share with those in need.
- v. 29 – No unwholesome talk; speak what builds others up.
- v. 30 – Do not grieve the Holy Spirit.
- v. 31 – Get rid of bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, slander, and malice.
- v. 32 – Be kind, compassionate, and forgiving.
The Flow:
Paul moves from negative commands (what to stop doing) to positive commands (what to start doing). Ephesians 4:32 is the climax—the positive replacement for all the toxic behaviors listed in verse 31.
Breaking Down Ephesians 4:32
1. “Be Kind to One Another” – The Command of Kindness
Greek: Ginesthe eis allēlous chrēstoi – “Be kind to one another”
The word “chrēstoi” (kind) means “useful, good, gracious, benevolent.” It conveys active goodwill and generosity of spirit.
What Is Biblical Kindness?
1. Kindness Is Active, Not Passive
Biblical kindness is not merely being “nice” or polite. It’s intentional action that seeks the good of others.
Examples of Kindness in Scripture:
- Boaz showed kindness to Ruth by allowing her to glean in his fields, protecting her, and ultimately redeeming her (Ruth 2:8-13).
- David showed kindness to Mephibosheth (Jonathan’s disabled son) by restoring his land and inviting him to eat at the king’s table (2 Samuel 9:1-13).
- The Good Samaritan showed kindness to the wounded man by stopping, bandaging his wounds, taking him to an inn, and paying for his care (Luke 10:30-37).
2. Kindness Reflects God’s Character
God Himself is kind.
“But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy” (Titus 3:4-5).
God’s kindness toward us was displayed in salvation—undeserved, costly, and sacrificial.
3. Kindness Is a Fruit of the Holy Spirit
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Galatians 5:22-23).
When the Holy Spirit fills you, kindness flows naturally.
Practical Ways to Show Kindness
1. Use Gentle Words
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).
- Speak encouragement, not criticism.
- Use a calm tone, even in disagreement.
- Choose words that build up, not tear down.
2. Offer Practical Help
- Help a neighbor with groceries.
- Babysit for a stressed parent.
- Visit the sick or elderly.
- Share a meal with someone in need.
3. Show Patience
- Give grace when someone makes a mistake.
- Don’t rush people who are struggling.
- Listen without interrupting.
4. Give Generously
- Tip generously at restaurants.
- Pay for the person behind you in line.
- Give to those in financial need.
5. Smile and Acknowledge Others
- Make eye contact.
- Greet people warmly.
- Show genuine interest in their lives.
2. “Be Compassionate to One Another” – The Heart of Empathy
Greek: Eusplanchnoi – “Tenderhearted, compassionate”
The word “eusplanchnoi” literally refers to the “bowels” or “inner parts”—the seat of emotions in ancient thought. It means “deeply moved with pity, having a tender heart.”
What Is Biblical Compassion?
1. Compassion Feels the Pain of Others
Compassion is empathy in action—entering into another person’s suffering and being moved to help.
Jesus as the Model of Compassion:
- Matthew 9:36 – “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.”
- Matthew 14:14 – “When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.”
- Mark 1:41 – “Jesus was indignant. He reached out his hand and touched the man. ‘I am willing,’ he said. ‘Be clean!'” (touching a leper—an act of radical compassion).
2. Compassion Moves Beyond Feelings to Action
True compassion doesn’t stop at sympathy—it acts.
The Good Samaritan didn’t just feel sorry for the wounded man—he stopped, bandaged his wounds, took him to an inn, and paid for his care (Luke 10:33-35).
3. Compassion Sees the Image of God in Everyone
Compassion treats every person—rich or poor, friend or enemy, deserving or undeserving—as a person made in God’s image.
Practical Ways to Show Compassion
1. Listen with Your Full Attention
- Put down your phone.
- Make eye contact.
- Don’t interrupt or rush to give advice.
- Validate their feelings: “That sounds really hard.”
2. Weep with Those Who Weep
“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15).
- Attend funerals and memorial services.
- Send condolence cards.
- Sit with someone in their grief without trying to “fix” it.
3. Care for the Vulnerable
- Visit the sick and elderly.
- Mentor fatherless children.
- Advocate for the oppressed.
- Support widows and orphans (James 1:27).
4. Show Mercy to the Struggling
- Don’t judge someone battling addiction—help them find healing.
- Don’t condemn the single mother—offer practical support.
- Don’t criticize the depressed—show understanding and encourage professional help.
5. Pray Earnestly for Others
Compassion drives you to your knees on behalf of others.
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2).
3. “Forgiving Each Other” – The Command to Release Offenses
Greek: Charizomenoi heautois – “Forgiving one another”
The word “charizomenoi” comes from “charis” (grace). To forgive is to extend grace—to cancel a debt, release a wrong, and show unmerited favor.
What Is Biblical Forgiveness?
1. Forgiveness Is a Decision, Not a Feeling
You may not feel forgiving, but you can choose to forgive. Forgiveness is an act of the will, not an emotion.
2. Forgiveness Releases the Offender from the Debt
When you forgive, you say:
- “I will not hold this against you.”
- “I release you from owing me.”
- “I choose not to seek revenge.”
3. Forgiveness Does Not Mean Forgetting
God forgives and “remembers our sins no more” (Hebrews 8:12), but humans aren’t designed to erase memories. Forgiveness means choosing not to rehearse the offense or use it as a weapon.
4. Forgiveness Does Not Always Mean Reconciliation
- Forgiveness is unilateral—you can forgive even if the offender never apologizes.
- Reconciliation is bilateral—it requires both parties to participate.
You can forgive someone while maintaining healthy boundaries (e.g., forgiving an abusive person while staying physically safe).
5. Forgiveness Does Not Excuse Sin
Forgiveness acknowledges the wrong was real and hurtful, but chooses mercy over revenge.
Why Forgiveness Is Essential
1. Unforgiveness Poisons Your Soul
Bitterness, resentment, and grudges destroy you, not the offender.
“See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many” (Hebrews 12:15).
2. Unforgiveness Blocks Your Prayers
“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins” (Mark 11:25).
3. Unforgiveness Grieves the Holy Spirit
“And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption” (Ephesians 4:30).
Holding onto bitterness quenches the Spirit’s work in your life.
4. Unforgiveness Hinders Your Witness
If Christians cannot forgive, how can we proclaim a forgiving God?
Practical Steps to Forgive
Step 1: Acknowledge the Hurt
Don’t minimize or deny the pain. Be honest with God about how deeply you’ve been wounded.
Step 2: Choose to Forgive (By an Act of Will)
Pray: “Lord, I choose to forgive [name]. I release them from the debt they owe me. I will not seek revenge.”
Step 3: Release the Offense to God
“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord” (Romans 12:19).
Let God handle justice. You focus on obedience.
Step 4: Pray for the Offender
“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44).
Praying for someone softens your heart.
Step 5: Repeat as Needed
Forgiveness is often a process, not a one-time event. You may need to choose forgiveness repeatedly as memories resurface.
“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times'” (Matthew 18:21-22).
4. “Just As in Christ God Forgave You” – The Foundation and Motivation
Greek: Kathōs kai ho theos en Christō echarisato hymin – “Just as God in Christ forgave you”
This is the theological foundation for all Christian forgiveness. We forgive because we have been forgiven.
How God Forgave You
1. While You Were Still a Sinner
“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).
God didn’t wait for you to clean up your act. He forgave you while you were His enemy.
2. At Infinite Cost
Forgiveness cost God everything—the life of His Son.
“For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed… but with the precious blood of Christ” (1 Peter 1:18-19).
3. Completely and Forever
“As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:12).
God’s forgiveness is total, permanent, and irreversible.
4. Without Condition
You didn’t earn God’s forgiveness. It was a free gift of grace.
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God” (Ephesians 2:8).
The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant (Matthew 18:21-35)
Jesus tells a powerful story:
The Setup:
A servant owed the king 10,000 bags of gold—an impossible debt (equivalent to millions of dollars). The king forgave the entire debt.
The Tragedy:
That same servant went out and found a fellow servant who owed him 100 silver coins—a small, manageable debt. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded payment. When the man couldn’t pay, he threw him into prison.
The Judgment:
When the king heard about this, he was furious. He reinstated the original debt and handed the unforgiving servant over to the jailers.
Jesus’ Application:
“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart” (Matthew 18:35).
The Point:
The debt others owe you is nothing compared to the debt God has forgiven you. To refuse to forgive is to mock God’s grace.
The Connection Between Kindness, Compassion, and Forgiveness
These three commands are not random—they are interconnected.
Kindness meets practical needs.
Compassion feels the pain of others.
Forgiveness releases wrongs.
Together, they create a culture of grace, healing, and restoration.
Practical Applications: Living Out Ephesians 4:32
1. In Marriage
Be Kind:
- Speak words of affirmation, not criticism.
- Serve your spouse in practical ways (make coffee, run errands, give a massage).
- Express appreciation daily.
Be Compassionate:
- Listen when your spouse is hurting.
- Validate their feelings, even if you don’t fully understand.
- Support them in their struggles.
Forgive:
- Don’t keep a record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5).
- Resolve conflicts before going to bed (Ephesians 4:26).
- Choose grace over grudges.
2. In Parenting
Be Kind:
- Use gentle correction, not harsh words.
- Encourage your children’s efforts.
- Spend quality time together.
Be Compassionate:
- Understand that children are learning and will make mistakes.
- Comfort them when they’re afraid or sad.
- See discipline as training, not punishment.
Forgive:
- Don’t hold past mistakes over your children’s heads.
- Model repentance and reconciliation.
- Teach them to forgive others.
3. In Friendships
Be Kind:
- Check in on friends regularly.
- Celebrate their successes.
- Offer help without being asked.
Be Compassionate:
- Be present in their pain.
- Don’t judge or give unsolicited advice.
- Pray for them consistently.
Forgive:
- Overlook minor offenses (Proverbs 19:11).
- Address major issues with humility and grace.
- Restore the friendship whenever possible.
4. In the Church
Be Kind:
- Welcome newcomers warmly.
- Serve in practical ministries (hospitality, meals, setup).
- Speak well of others.
Be Compassionate:
- Visit the sick and grieving.
- Support those in financial need.
- Bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2).
Forgive:
- Extend grace to imperfect leaders.
- Reconcile with those who hurt you.
- Seek unity, not division (Ephesians 4:3).
5. In the Workplace
Be Kind:
- Help coworkers with their workload.
- Speak respectfully, even under stress.
- Express gratitude.
Be Compassionate:
- Understand personal struggles (illness, family issues).
- Don’t gossip or complain.
- Encourage those who are discouraged.
Forgive:
- Let go of workplace offenses.
- Don’t hold grudges against difficult colleagues.
- Reflect Christ’s character in a secular environment.
Related Scriptures on Kindness, Compassion, and Forgiveness
- Colossians 3:12-13 – “Therefore, as God’s chosen people… clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
- Luke 6:35-36 – “But love your enemies, do good to them… Then your reward will be great… Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.”
- Proverbs 11:17 – “Those who are kind benefit themselves, but the cruel bring ruin on themselves.”
- Matthew 6:14-15 – “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
- 1 Peter 3:8 – “Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.”
Frequently Asked Questions About Ephesians 4:32
What if someone doesn’t deserve kindness or forgiveness?
None of us deserves God’s kindness or forgiveness, yet He extends it freely (Romans 5:8). We forgive because we’ve been forgiven, not because the person deserves it.
How do I forgive someone who isn’t sorry?
Forgiveness is unilateral—it doesn’t require the offender’s participation. You release the offense to God and choose not to hold it against them. Reconciliation, however, requires both parties.
Does forgiveness mean I have to trust the person again?
Forgiveness is immediate; trust is rebuilt over time. You can forgive someone while maintaining boundaries until they prove trustworthy.
What if I keep feeling angry after I’ve forgiven someone?
Feelings take time to catch up with decisions. Continue choosing forgiveness, praying for the person, and asking God to heal your heart.
Conclusion: A Call to Christlike Love
Ephesians 4:32 is not a suggestion—it’s a command. And it’s not optional for “super-spiritual” Christians—it’s the baseline expectation for every follower of Jesus.
Be kind.
Be compassionate.
Forgive.
Why? Because God in Christ forgave you.
When you were rebellious, ungrateful, and hostile—God showed you kindness.
When you were broken and lost—God showed you compassion.
When you were guilty and condemned—God forgave you.
Now, extend that same grace to others.
Your marriage, your friendships, your church, and your witness depend on it.
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” — Ephesians 4:32
Live it. Model it. Transform the world with it.
Take the Next Step: A Prayer of Commitment
“Heavenly Father, thank You for Your incredible kindness, compassion, and forgiveness toward me. While I was still a sinner, Christ died for me. I have been forgiven an infinite debt. Lord, help me to extend that same grace to others. Give me a kind heart, a compassionate spirit, and a forgiving attitude. Show me who needs my kindness today. Soften my heart toward those who have hurt me. I choose to forgive [name specific people]. I release them to You. Fill me with Your Spirit so that I may reflect Christ’s love in all my relationships. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”